I’m virtually in love with you… Online dating vs dating

Nothing beats the feeling of battling and overwhelming swarm of butterflies in your stomach. A swarm of butterflies resembling a volatile tornado, unsure of its purpose, unaware of the collateral damage it leaves behind.

Love isn’t always easy to attain, in fact the most devastating reality is, is that love is not guaranteed for all. This is where the problem occurs, from our first waking breath or moment of rationality where we feel the universal emotion of love, we cling onto it like bees to honey, like an Olympian to their gold medal and like a mother to her new born child. Blatantly, our prima facie duties reveal to us that love is a virtue worth nurturing, investing in and thriving for because it’s the one thing in life that no one can take away from you. The latter part of that sentence is debatable, but when you look at love as an objective quality and virtue, really no one can rip it from you even if the object of your love is not attainable or ever has been.

Enough of the waffle, speaking of waffles love really is similar to a hot sticky waffle agree? The sweetness that indulges our senses sending us into a frenzy, craving more and more of the addictive treat; the glutinous desire to fill ourselves with the warm hug of the creamy, silky chocolate sauce, these longings parallel for me, love.

But in all its glory, you can’t buy it in a store anymore. In this world you can pretty much pay for whatever it is you desire and get that beautiful thing that everyone craves more than ever (I’m not talking about waffles again)… instant gratification. With a busy working schedule, a ravenous social life and many other pressing priorities we no longer make enough time to seek out our primitive desires and if we do indulge in any, the longevity is no longer a key aspect we digress from long meaningful relationships to questioning whether our time is worth the person we consider investing it within. The pragmatic calculations we cultivate in our minds destroy the Disney fairytale we ought to and deserve to believe in.

In terms of the blog post, relevance can be made with all the waffle I have just typed to the title of the post. With demanding lifestyle’s we compromise the way we meet people, many programmes promise a real love, apps guarantee a match for life and advertisements deceive you into thinking its the truest form of love and you ought to buy into it- I still lament you cannot buy real love.

My personal opinion of being in love with someone you have met on a social platform is conflicting because it is a virtually conceived love, a planned love a decided love. It is a love that juxtaposes the instantaneous spark you’d feel on accidently spilling your coffee on someone or watching as your out of control dog springs onto another’s precious pup symbolising the potentially of a spontaneous romance.  Is it a love that you hold onto out of desperation and fear that only you can decide who you invest your feelings into; or a love where you remove the social anxiety you’d feel to approach someone in person and allow yourself the opportunity of something you have always been deprived of?

I opt for the latter conclusion. Though the post may have appeared to be in opposition to online dating, actually I can see the benefits of doing so in a world where our lives, memories, secrets and careers circulate one big international platform otherwise known as the world wide web.

Many people who have grown up with or immerse themselves within a world dependent and reliant on social media platform or technology for their primary means of communication. This dependence could have compromised their ability to articulate and conduct themselves to their full potential in person. Now, before you deviate your attention to thinking of a way to prove how that premise was completely misjudged, i’ll save you the time and admit I do no think that applies to everyone. It definitely doesn’t apply to myself. Having grown up with a technological generation, my abilities to conduct myself as a social being has not been compromised, but some people feel more comfortable on a keyboard than on a date. You cannot deny that is true.

Online dating has perks, and the biggest appeal I find with it is to change my perspective of how it works. Consider this, you have finished a busy day at work, your eyes reveal the buden of overloading work piles and your complexion reveals the lack of sleep and stress you’ve endured today. Embarking on your compact commute home you see a person who quite literally rejuvenates your senses. You’re immediately conscious of the weight beneath your eyes and blink with ardour to restore your focus, endeavouring only to see this person as best as you can. You look around you and notice a blur of figures and convince yourself you’re just tired but then, your gaze is pulled back magnetically to the centre piece of the carriage, them. Rearranging your position in the dusty rough seat to give of a posture of interest, putting your phone away to reconnect yourself with the reality you are now in, ready to smile at the said person to reveal your inner desire to approach them. You’ve waiting a long time to feel this excitment, after moments of contemplation you question yourself, what do I have to lose?

Cultivating the will to smile, you feel your cheeks lifting, your teeth poking out and the redness of your cheeks heating up the entirety of your body and then, as the doors of the train open, the cool breeze of air smacks your in the fact shocking the smile back into yourself and that light that brightened up the carriage descends into the outside, out reach out of sight.

Disappointment suffocates your airways, even more so when the doors reclose and lock in the stench of hard work, fatigue and caffeine that fills the carriage. But you soon get over it and convince yourself it was never going to work anyway.

You’ve arrived at home, throw down your bags and reach for a drink to rehydrate or food to refuel. Slouching on the couch with utter delight of comfort and the same familiar hug of the sofa welcoming you home you feel content. Checking your phone to see an array of emails to be answered the following morning you wish you had someone to talk to, instead of premediating your responses for tomorrow… do you ever switch off?

So, you decide to do something new, you open your phone, lets be realistic it is probably an iPhone, and you download a dating app. Who knows? you could find your celebrity crush on there and sail off into the sunset never to be burdened with that commuters train again. After applying and spending the most part of the evening looking for a photo that says attractive but easy going you’re ready to take the dating world by storm. Swipe by swipe your left even more desolate than you started off with and throw down your phone with anger and self-pity. After a tea and a biscuit and the credits of Friends have just graced your beloved TV screen, you feel your fingers mimicking the swiping motion of Tinder. Before your know it your wide-eyed and frantically swiping faces, figures and dog pictures thrilled to be in possession of your own dating life. Suddenly, you pause and look closer at the picture in front of you and think to yourself ‘No f**king way, its them from the train’ you don’t need to be conscious of your appearance this time, or if they could smell the fatigue of work on your clothes or see your left over lunch in your teeth. no courage or confidence is needed so you take your firm finger and swipe right for Mr/Mrs right.

It’s a match.

1 years later, you’re sat on the couch discussing your future dogs.

From what I’m trying to convey here, is that dating online isn’t to be considered a compromise as first presented by myself in this blog. Sometimes, it is an opportunity to do something for the first time or the second because essentially, online dating and dating are the same thing. You find someone attractive or they make an impression on you and you get in contact with them whether it is by walking up to them with a cheesy grin or whether it is online with an enticing selfie and a fabricated bio aimed to impress with a 80% success rate.

I’m aware of the many disadvantages also… and may write a part two but for now, enjoy the perks that can come with using online dating sites to find Mr. Right or Mrs. Right.





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