Is gymaphobe a word?
Just a heads up, I don’t hate the gym for the reasons most people probably do, the effort, the sweat and the reward from the vendy machine afterwards that makes the workout totally fruitless. No, i love working up a sweat, feeling the calories drip down my spine, my mind pushing my body to exertion and the rythmic motions in sync with my IPod- I love working out, it my all time favourite stress release. What is my problem with the gym then? I went to the gym today-thought I’d give it ago, testing the water- and all my qualms were confirmed… IHATE THE GYM
I wish I could like plant you guys in my mind when I was at the gym, because seriously, my thoughts were a bunch of rambles. They went a little something like this..
Delving into the mind of Dem
“Yes, I look good, I knew buying these trainers were a hit. Now where shall I get a groove on? Over by the beginners who are taking selfies, over by the mums gossiping about who’s kid is prettier than the other or by the hard core gym fanatics… Hmmm I am spoilt for choice! Ah, a spare running machine, bingo.
This isn’t so bad, let me just up the resistance, yeah this feels good, damn my thighs kill… How is she doing that? Woah, she is crazy strong. Shall I try? Better not. Damn this is killing… Woah what’s that over there? Mr Protein Shake is looking at me… Play it cool, lowering the resistance to cool my sweat, still looking and I am aware my boobies are bobbling up and down… This is uncomfortable, I’ll just get off. Oh no, judge mum group are looking at me, shall I quit while they smerk? Fuck. (thinks of escape route)
A: I need water
B: Fall off the running machine then because I injured I can walk out with my pride
C: Run like the wind when no one is looking
Summary of why I will never go to the gym again…
- Over priced
- None of my friends workout so I’m a Billy no mates
- I get distracted by how freaking awful I look
- Feeling self conscious I down play the work out
- It becomes a waste of time
- Gym fanatics looks amazing and I look like Heather Trott
- I much prefer my outdoor running
- I ended up eating my feelings after the gym… I gravitated towards the peanut M&M’s in the ever so tempting vendy machine
This is how the gym made me feel… Excuse the French
Surely, I’m not the only one who has what I want to call gym-phobia… Or is it?