I QUIT OLDER SIBLING DUTY

As the oldest sibling I feel so scornful to my ‘inferiors’ – yeah I’m on about my siblings-‘ it is like, being the oldest comes with a fine print that we had no idea about until they were born.

Sure, being the oldest sibling has it perks, I can bribe my sister into tidying my room for 20p and my little brother’s role as an owl relaying messages to my parents. I’m lazy so I won’t do it myself. But these little luxuries in NO way compensate for the toils of being an older sibling. My goodness, the strain and struggle has seen me plot revenge and ‘mysterious dissaperances’ when playing hide and seek-I had told me sister to hide at the local park she was gone for hours- I’m not a bad sister, just one who would appreciate a little peace and quiet every now and then.

Here are 11 reasons why I detest the role of older sibling…

  1. The free babysitting; if I have made plans to go out and I have to look after my younger siblings with no gains you should not be surprised when they are locked in a cupboard on your return
  2. The role model; “Demi, don’t do that they will copy you” I will pick my nose if I want to mother!
  3. Sharing is caring; I’m at an age now where I pay for 89% of my things so DO NOT insist I share my food… You share yours!
  4. The ‘talks’, I am not prepared to talk to my siblings about the bird and the bees, they will have the embarrassment of talking through it with the parents as I did
  5. You should know better, I will stab you.
  6. Blame game; he is only young! He probably got it from you! – really father! Really?
  7. The envy: they get away with murder, if I sneeze I’m blamed for spreading the worlds deadliest disease
  8. Adulthood: as the oldest I’m expected to be super mature, no! I will talk to you after inhaling helium if I deem fit
  9. The invasion: my room is no longer sacred, I find Lego festering in my shoes and little people asleep in my bed
  10. Embarrassment: my little brother does not forget, I one spoke about my crush, a couple of months later we were together, he came for diner and my little brother States “are you the one with the onion breath”..
  11. The favours: can I wear your clothes? Do you have money? Can you make me food? 

I cannot explain the agitation of being the oldest sibling. It has it perks but these 11 banes are hard to ignore I’m sure there are others who feel the same!

This is me handing in my resignation… The post is open to any brave enough, I don’t recommend it though minimal wage isn’t even offered!
  

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